Friday, February 5, 2010

What I've been doing lately

If you're all wondering what I've been doing lately,

well i finished my prelims on Thursday so I'm totally free, until midterms.
during the week of my prelims, I've studied but when I was done, I've done nothing but feel grateful, believe, feel the feelings of already being my perfect weight, I saw myself getting on that scale, looking down and saw that the red arrow was right on the 50, I felt excited, I felt so happy.

But then, before I would check, I would think about how much I actually weigh, I felt scared and I thought i would regret checking it, I would feel bad to see how much i still weighed. Whenever I would see that my current weight hasn't changed, I felt so bad, I felt depressed, but I tried my best to cheer myself up again, and so I did, by thinking of my perfect weight, thinking of me living in my perfect body, I thought of getting lifted by almost everyone I knew, I thought of them saying "WaW, Nada your so light", as i was thinking of those thoughts I would feel grateful, I would feel excited, I felt so happy.

No matter what I do, I will never give up.

right after my exams, we went over my sisters apartment, but I didn't really want to go, since I was tired and wanted to go home, but then I thought, 'maybe this is the universe telling me to go', every time we would go over my sisters apartment, she would always make us clean, and move stuff around for her, since her house isn't completely organized. I knew that she would make us move things around, so I took the offer as the universe offered it to me.
I decided to take any offer in which I know that will help me take a step forward to what I want.

We did move things around, we cleaned up a little and it became more organized, I felt happy that what I did was for a good cause, I did feel tired but then happy and proud of myself.

The next day I've decided to dance again. I've grown interest of Hula dancing, I tried it and realized that it was pretty hard, but I had fun, even if I'm alone in my room, I would laugh at myself because I couldn't get the right step. I might be crazy laughing at myself but I felt good, happy, joyful. I was smiling. After my attempt of Hula dancing, I decided to relearn what I learned before. Kat tun dance moves. I re-watched their videos, and relearned everything, but they weren't perfect, but I had fun. I did it over and over again, because I couldn't get some parts right. It was joyful even though I was alone. After all that, I wasn't really tired, I wanted to do more, so I just put on Kat tun's new song D-motion, and started to dance to it. I watched their performance at Music Station Japan, and decided to copy a few steps, then feel proud of myself when I got them.

I got hungry, but saw that there was nothing in the fridge, so I called out to my mom. "MOM IM HUNGRY!" in a hyper playful tone. "Go eat apples, its good for you" she replied. I thought 'Apples sound nice', when I thought of apples i felt a warm breeze inside me. When I got 2 apples out of the fridge and started cutting them, I felt good and healthy, even if i didn't put them in my mouth yet, but when I did, I felt even better. I felt so healthy that I wanted to eat more. I forgot that apples taste so good, and made me feel healthy. But i couldn't finish it for some reason.

I do things that make me happy and feel good about myself, like dancing and moving around for a good cause, doing things that you know are for a good cause, and knowing that you want to do them.
I eat things that make me feel good and healthy.
I realized that eating fruits makes me feel healthy and warm inside, they make me feel good about myself, unlike when I eat mc donald's or other greasy foods make me feel oily and weird inside, even though they taste really good, they don't make me feel as good on the inside. I still eat these foods but I only focus on the taste.
You can eat what ever you want, Food is your friend.
Do things you want to do, and that make you feel good. Know that what your doing is going to take you a step forward to your goal.

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