Saturday, January 30, 2010


Today my brother and Grandma called me fat.

I felt so bad after they said that.
my brother said to me during lunch "tambok!" [tambok meaning fat in ilonggo; my moms province dialect] then pointed his eyes at me. I hit him subconsciously, and then tried to calm myself down by grabbing the rice and putting it on my plate.
after eating I got up and put my plate in the kitchen, but grandma was there. as i was walking to the sink she slapped my butt, i looked back in shock, she said "you dont go walking nada? you should go? its good for you" i knew was she was saying since she didnt know much english. I smiled and nodded my head then walked off, angry, trying to calm myself down with all good thoughts.

i sat back down feeling back and continued studying and just getting my mind off what their saying i thought of me getting on the scaled and seeing than I am 50kg and full of joy.

To all the people who have trouble when people are calling you fat or names because your fat. It might hurt, but then walk off, or listen to some music, think happy thoughts, think of yourself in your perfect body and weight, imagine yourself living the life with your perfect body and weight. Those people will regret saying those things to you, i promise.

I've noticed that i grew like this because of what people call me in the past, when i was a child.
one scene would be when we were all going to visit my grand ma and grand pa's newly built house. We had a big van, all my cousins came, and went in the van, my sisters and younger brother as well. As I waited for someone to say "Come here Nada", instead they said "Opps sorry Nada no space, your too fat" and i was about 5-6years old that time. I was so hurt that I ran back inside the house crying to my mom.
That scene in mylife has caused me to be like this, and only that scene but others as well. I kept those moments in my mind, i hated them.

but now, I must forgive and forget. I have forgiven my cousins and siblings and thanked the universe for them being in my life, and I might recall that scene from time to time but then be grateful that, it was an experience to tell to my children.
Don't treat old bad memories with hatred, treat them as old somewhat memorable memories, be grateful for that unusual experience.

Have a great day everyone.

No comments:

Post a Comment